Bewere These Mamas: Weres You Wouldn't Want As Your Mother

Crystal Norris

Who doesn’t want a were-panther for your mother? Actually it is not because of her two-nature status that we included Crystal in this post… it’s more of the fact she’d more likely be your Mama, Sister and Auntie all in one.

Both the books and show have Hot Shot as a small community of were-panthers who are heavily inbred in order to preserve their way of life. This leads to some unbecoming side effects… Calvin’s eyes barely passing for human, Crystal barely being able to shift during the full moon… They may have the saying “Incest is best.”, but this is definitely a case where one should not “Practice what you preach.”

Next comes Crystal’s personality, in the show she seems as if she may not be so bad… so we’ll not include the TB Crystal in this one. But in the books, Crystal is a vindictive, conniving bitch. She’s rude, sneaky, untruthful and even betrays Jason while pregnant with his baby (well, we assume it was his baby).

Show Crystal’s invested time and efforts to further the family crack sales, is yet again another negative for the were-panther becoming a Mama-to-be.

Debbie Pelt

Who doesn’t want a psycho Were (or in the case of the books Were-lynx) as there mother? I suppose each has their own appeal.

Controlling and deceitful, Debbie could certainly teach any daughter of hers how to keep a man in check.

The book Debbie, is a were-lynx who is just a hateful woman. After scorning her lover, Alcide and insulting his were-ness by shacking up with a were-owl, Debbie proceeds to try and dig her claws back into Alcide. The reasoning? Her jealousy when she sees him with the lovely Sookie Stackhouse. Of course, her mind is blown away when she finds out just how much Sookie desires to live.

Show Debbie, is a v-addicted werewolf who is the essence of white trash. Along with her “Cooter” (can’t help but snicker), she assists Lorena in torturing Bill in season three. Vowing vengence on Sookie when Alcide kills Cooter, this Were has a grudge and doesn’t seem to be interested in anything else but wreaking havoc. There is no reason this Were needs to be having a litter any time soon.

Mama Quinn

There is crazy… and then there is Quinn’s Mama. Nothing is scarier than having a Mama who is crazy… except maybe a Mama who is a crazy were-tiger.

While institutionalized, this Mama Tiger escaped into the woods where she was trapped by hunters. Once shifted back into her human self, the hunters took turns raping her before she snapped and tore them to shreds.

If stable, this Mama may have turned out to be a good one for Quinn and his youger sister, Frannie. Sanity goes a long way…

Sandra Pelt

Sandra is Debbie’s adopted younger sister. A full blooded were, this girl’s got issues. Just as vicious as Debbie, Sandra makes it her life’s mission to destroy Sookie Stackhouse. Insanity seems to be transferable even without genetics within this family.

Outraged by her parents’ agreement to leave Sookie alone, it is believed Sandra is responsible for the death of her parents. This of course leaves one to wonder just what she would do if she had a child who outraged her?

The ability to reproduce among the weres doesn’t mean they necessarily should. Perhaps more should look into being fixed instead of popping out litters and passing on their craziness to later generations…