Anti-Doodle Abuse Campaign

A new voice is rising amongst the crowds of millions. The source: a fairy’s doodle.

Claude Crane‘s Doodle has had a difficult existence. Several years spent in Faery, he was not privilege to the freedom of other Doodles. The reasoning? His absolute disgust for his number one enemy… The Vag.

Horrified at the thought of this evil beast with it’s snarled hair and sharp teeth, Claude’s Doodle has quivered in fear more than any Doodle should.

The middle child out of a set of triplets, Claude is the only male. Subjected to years of torment and misery, he fled to the Human Realm to claim a simple life, in which he and his Doodle can be free from scrutiny.

Now, with the support of Doodles of all shapes and sizes, Claude’s Doodle is standing proud for his right to exist!

I have a dream…

I have a dream that all Doodles of all shapes and sizes can bob freely in the wind.

I have a dream that a Doodle will one day have the right to pursue whomever he shall choose and not be scrutinized for not submitting ourselves to the Deadly Vag.

I have a dream that we will one day rise up above the Vag and prove our superiority!

One day soon, no Doodle will be abused by the Vag nor any other parts of the Vaggy One’s choice. We will no longer be tugged, pulled, smacked by the Vaggy’s hands. We will no longer be bitten or burned by their deadly orifices. We will no longer quiver in fear from the Vag. We will rise above and we will prevail!


As his speech came to an end, the crowd roared with cheers as the Doodles bobbed in the wind.

This is only the first step in Claude’s Doodle’s pursuit for freedom from “The Vag”. He is also leading a joint “Anti-Vag Campaign” and is planning on speaking to Congress about securing freedom for all Doodles in the United States.

Written by Claude Crane